mango-peace

byEinrica Mae Monderin

April feels different for me this year. Now that I am finally back in the Philippines, I can slowly talk about something I kept to myself for a while. The past weeks were not easy for me at all. There were days when I cried almost every day. I really believed I could handle everything well. I kept telling myself to stay strong and push through whatever was happening around me. But the truth is, it was much harder than I expected. Living far from home was already challenging for me, but the situation in the Middle East during those days added another layer of fear and uncertainty. Hearing the news, seeing the tension, and not knowing what could happen next made everything feel heavier for me. At the same time, I was also dealing with my own struggles, pressure, and many unanswered questions about what to do next. Many people only see the decisions I made, but they didn’t see the nights I spent crying, overthinking, and trying to stay strong. Crying almost every day was not easy for me. It drained me emotionally and mentally, even when I kept telling myself that I was okay. Through everything that happened, I realized something very important: no opportunity, no place, and no expectation is worth losing my peace of mind. For me, strength does not always mean enduring everything. Sometimes the strongest decision I can make is knowing when to step back and choose what is best for my well-being. That is why I chose to come home. Not because I gave up, but because I chose peace over pressure, clarity over confusion, and my mental and emotional health over everything else. Coming back to the Philippines is not a step backward for me. For me, it is a moment to breathe again, to reflect, and to prepare myself for a new beginning with a clearer mind and a stronger heart. Life did not go according to the plans I once had, but that does not mean my journey has failed. Sometimes the bravest thing I can do is pause, reset, and trust that better days are still ahead. For now, I am choosing my peace of mind.